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Latest comment: 9 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
Per a nudge here, I'm having a look at this article with a view towards a GA nomination. I'll list thoughts as I go through. For posterity the version of the article I am reading is this.
The title seems a bit long to me. "Ernest Melville Charles Guest"? Did he refer to himself using all four names, or is their inclusion just to differentiate between the many notable members of the Guest family? (his father, for example). By referring to him in the body as "Ernest 'Melville' Guest" we seem to imply that he was commonly known as Melville, a notion that seems to be supported by his wife giving this name to his son.
Since this is in a WW2 context, I would recommend calling him "Southern Rhodesian-born" rather than "Rhodesian-born". I know that to the initiated an unqualified reference to "Rhodesia" means Southern Rhodesia in 99% of cases, but pedants sometimes get uppity about this so it's best to avoid the ambiguity.
Don't we know his birthday?
I'm not sure the roundel is necessary in the infobox next to "Royal Air Force".
the dash in the years should be an endash (–) and not a hyphen
Source for the service number?
At the FAC for John Plagis, I was told of a convention that "we don't start with rank in the lead unless it's one-star and above". (one-star rank being Commodore, Brigadier or Air Commodore depending on the service). Just something to keep in mind.
"He was made Flight Lieutenant on 9 October 1941" needs a full stop
Rhodes Scholarship is usually capitalised, I believe
I believe the present usage of sources 7 and 8 together is original research (synthesis of sources, specifically), so I'd recommend trying to find better references for this.
Reference to "MacDonald 1945" (Lion With Tusk Guardant, I believe) is incomplete
We make reference to John Guest (Ernest's brother) "enlisting" in the KRRC. This could be taken to mean he was an enlisted man but he was actually an officer (2Lt to be precise), so I would recommend rewording.
"he came home on leave" I would try to avoid wording like this that could be taken to make assumptions about where the reader is. Try "he returned home on leave" or similar.
I think "No. XX Squadron" is the preferred usage as opposed to "XX Squadron".
We make reference to him going to George, Western Cape as an instructor, but so far as I know the Western Cape didn't become a province until 1994. At the time it was Cape Province. Moreover many readers may not know Africa and may not know the "Cape" we are referring to is in South Africa.
In the body we refer to Ju88s, in the lead to Ju 88s. Be consistent
Similar to the Western Cape problem: North Yorkshire wasn't a county until 1974. At the time of Guest's life Yorkshire was one big county with three ridings (North, East and West). I think just "Yorkshire" is enough.
The last section isn't referenced.
"had a son, Melville Guest, born November 1943, a few weeks after the death of his father." doesn't make sense grammatically.
I don't think the external link to a blog at the end is appropriate.
I hope this helps. Thanks for the interesting read. If there's anything else I can help with at all please let me know. Cheers and good luck! :) —Cliftonian(talk) 11:41, 26 January 2015 (UTC)
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