Talk:Hughes Airwest Flight 706/GA1
Latest comment: 13 years ago by Mukkakukaku in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Racepacket (talk) 04:19, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
Please fix this disamb. link: Near-miss. External links check out.
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose):
b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
- " Diagnostics revealed" →" Diagnostic tests at Mountain Home revealed"
- "had died previously.[2]"→"had died prior to the crash.[2]"
- "the pilot was subsequently unable to eject"→"the pilot was consequently unable to eject"
- "investigating National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) team"→"National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) investigation team"
- "A Federal Aviation Administration study in 1968"→"An FAA study in 1968"
- "require military aircraft to file"→"require military aircraft on cross-country flights to file"
- "move all related court actions to California."->"move all related court actions to the Central District of California."
- Why do you use the abbreviations VFR and IFR in the Flight histories section and then stop using them in later sections?
- I would include the fatality count in the lead paragraphs.
- a (prose):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references):
b (citations to reliable sources):
c (OR):
- Fn, 4, 8, 22 and 33 are dead.
- Fn. 9, 11 and 25 need Retrieved date.
- a (references):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects):
b (focused):
- You say that the Mountain Home AFB could not repair the transponder. What about the degraded radar?
- Are there any published data on how many flights landed at El Toro and LAX in 1971.
- You might want to add that El Toro has since been shut down.
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Nice photo and animation. Thank you for donating them.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- I am placing the article on hold. Racepacket (talk) 06:35, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
- Pass/Fail:
Response(s)
Note- this will be updated piecemeal as I edit between classes. I may do some edits as my alt (User:OldManInACoffeeCan) if at a school terminal. --Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû (blah?) 15:24, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
- Prose updated with suggestions above. The only one not incorporated was the one about military cross-country flights. The sources indicate that it was cross country flights and flights to-and-from military bases that had to file flight plans. Since that pretty much covers all or most military flights in the US, I left it as just "required military flights to file flight plans." But if you think it needs to be changes I'll be sure to expand. --Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû (blah?) 15:24, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
- You are correct that it applies to most flights in the US.
- Re the dead links. They're offline sources, I just happened to find copies on Google News Archive. The links have since gone dead, but the newspapers are still valid. Will you accept them in good faith if I remove the dead links? --Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû (blah?) 15:24, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
- There is no prohibition against printed sources. Reliable sources do not have to be online. However, if a link goes dead and you can't find another, then you must remove the link.
- Dead links have been removed, citations for offline sources remain. --Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû (blah?) 06:25, 25 January 2011 (UTC)
- There is no prohibition against printed sources. Reliable sources do not have to be online. However, if a link goes dead and you can't find another, then you must remove the link.
- Added access dates. Two of them I verified when I added the material in my sandbox, which is why they're backdated. The others I reverified and added today's date. --OldManInACoffeeCan (Mukkakukaku's alt for public terminals) 17:07, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
- Fine.
- Re: image comment. I can't take credit for the CGI rendition of the aircraft or the animation. They were the work of User:Anynobody, but I will pass on your comments along with my own. --OldManInACoffeeCan (Mukkakukaku's alt for public terminals) 17:09, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
- Re section 4 questions and points:
- Mountain Home AFB could not fix the radar either. I updated the sentence and reverified the source.
- I may be able to find LAX stats in a newspaper, but I wouldn't hold my breath. I do have a source that states that Los Angeles was the single busiest and most dangerous (in terms of near-misses) air spaces at that time, but I personally don't think it passes WP:RS. It's an editorial from a daily newspaper. I will see what I can do to find the LAX stats.
- I'm pretty sure I won't be able to find El Toro stats, on the other hand, since it was a military base, so there would be a whole lot of top secret stuff going on, especially since this was during the Vietnam War.
- I have updated the article to mention that El Toro has since closed, and added a source. --OldManInACoffeeCan (Mukkakukaku's alt for public terminals) 17:18, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
- I fixed the disambig of near-miss to lead to Near miss (safety) --OldManInACoffeeCan (Mukkakukaku's alt for public terminals) 17:18, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
- Per MOS:CONSECUTIVE, drop the double period "6:06 p.m.."
- Fixed. --Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû (blah?) 06:26, 25 January 2011 (UTC)
- Do we have sources to support adding a sentence to the chronology that the military pilot did not inform civilian flight control of his changes from the flight plan?
- Since he was flying VFR, the military pilot did not file a flight plan. Civilian flight control was never aware he was there, until the collision, that is. --Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû (blah?) 06:26, 25 January 2011 (UTC)
- Most DC-9 references have hyphens, but the last two in the Investigation section are missing hyphens.
- Last F-4 in the Investigation section is also missing the hyphen. The one in the Aftermath section is missing the hyphen as well.
- Hyphens have been fixed. --Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû (blah?) 06:51, 25 January 2011 (UTC)
Good work. Congratulations. I made one more change from jetliner → airliner for consistency. You might also want to standardize on either F-4 or F-4B in the text of the article. Thanks, Racepacket (talk) 23:12, 25 January 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks a lot! --Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû (blah?) 03:23, 26 January 2011 (UTC)
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