enThis user is a native speaker of English.
theyThis user considers singular they substandard English usage.
mankindRegarding gender, this user will use the vernacular, not what is "politically correct".
This user is owned by one or more dogs.
This user recently discovered how to use userboxes.
GOPThis user supports the U.S. Republican Party.
This user is a lawyer.
This user is an Anglophile
This user is of Swedish ancestry.
MINThis user is a Minnesota Vikings fan.
This user does not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
(For God's Sake, do not taunt Happy Fun Ball!)
I would say I'm a cynic but I bet you just wouldn't believe me.

This user enjoys indiscriminate pillaging.

...This user may get around to being a professional procrastinator. Someday. Maybe.
ubx-cThis user thinks that user boxes have gotten out of control.
This user is a pacifist and will soon be conquered.
This space for rent.
CThis user attends or attended Columbia University.
UVAThis user has "worn the honors of Honor" by graduating from the University of Virginia

Better left unsaid

I was afraid I'd have to say something to introduce myself. Then I discovered how to insert those userbox thingies, which saves me the trouble of actually saying anything substantive. I've learned recently to subst the userboxes, because some admins who are wound too tightly tend to delete them, sadly.

I am actually as fussy about English usage as one might infer from the list to the right. In fact, most of it is true and accurate to at least some extent. Except for the pillaging; I'm actually quite discriminate about my pillaging (Viking ancestry and all that).