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Latest comment: 16 years ago5 comments2 people in discussion
Just some quick points:
Is an infobox appropriate? (I am a sucker for infoboxes)
Is there any chance of an image? I understand that this will be difficult.
Yards and metres? There needs to be a conversion somewhere in the article, but I am not sure where or how?
Otherwise, another great article. Cheers, Mattinbgn\talk 02:42, 4 January 2008 (UTC)
Images is basically impossible, since she didn't debut at Australian level until early 1955, when teh PD cut-off is. There is an image in teh book, but there's no way that it is of a 13.5 year old girl. Blnguyen (bananabucket) 02:47, 4 January 2008 (UTC)
Thanks, I thought as much. -- Mattinbgn\talk 02:58, 4 January 2008 (UTC)
Infobox is now in there. In the US College system, they still have 25yd and 50yd pools. I don't know the point of changing it to things like 99.1m or 101m or whatever the relevant conversion is. Blnguyen (bananabucket) 03:06, 4 January 2008 (UTC)
I wouldn't change them all, but I would show both for comparison's sake at the first mention of a distance for yards, such as "100 yards (91.5 metres)". I have my doubts about how many readers under the age of 35 (outside the US and Britain) know how far a yard is. Cheers, Mattinbgn\talk 10:33, 6 January 2008 (UTC)
GA review
Latest comment: 16 years ago2 comments1 person in discussion
Being a Yank, I'm not sure how often people outside the US always abbreviate things like meter and yard. I would think it would be good to spell out meter/metre the first time it's used and put (m) after it so readers know what abbreviation is used. Same for yd. I'm not going to hold the article back on this, because I'm not entirely sure it's needed, but it would be a nice touch.Same for minute and second.
I did this, although I put it in the first instance after the lead.
Early years, the sentence "Her parents tried sending her to ..." is awkward to me. Perhaps "In an effort to help her gain muscle control and confidence, her parents first sent her to ballet, but later they tried swimming, a sport her mother had participated in competitively."
Thanks, much better.
International career section, first paragraph. Not being a swimmer, I'm not clear on what "Drawn in Fraser's semifinal..." means exactly. A brief explanation might be helpful for non-swimmers.
Well it just meant that they draw names out of a hat to see which swimmers are in which race, but I tweaked it.
Same section and paragraph, I believe you mean "eighth-place getter" or perhaps "eighth-place finisher". I prefer finisher, but if getter is used more often in swimming accounts, go with that.
Reworded.
Retirement section - do you mean it was the first time she was outside Australia? It seems pretty clear she must have left Benigo if she moved to Melbourne and competed in various meets.
Oh, it doesn't appear that she ever left Australia on a swimming expedition, but I reworded it to indicate that the Olympic Village was the first time she wasnt living with her parents.
Is there anything else on her life after she retired from swimming? And perhaps you should use "She has two sons.." if she's still alive. The current wording makes it seem like she and/or they are deceased.
Tweaked and added one smaller sentence
I put the Template:Persondata in for you, but consider using it in the future.
Really nice article. Just a few small tweaks and I'll be happy to promote it.
I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on.Ealdgyth | Talk 16:11, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
Looks good! Passing it now. Ealdgyth | Talk 03:06, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
Photograph
Latest comment: 12 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
Would it be possible to get a photograph of her? Raul654 (talk) 14:09, 23 March 2012 (UTC)
Illness
Latest comment: 10 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
In 2001, she was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in her neck, which was the size of a 50c coin.
The coin being from which currency from which country? How would anybody outside this unknown country know the size of the coin? — Preceding unsigned comment added by 2A02:810B:8400:28:C62C:3FF:FE05:9BA0 (talk) 05:50, 13 November 2013 (UTC)