Talk:Ned Kelly
Latest comment: 12 years ago by Peterdownunder in topic VGA suggestions
This is the talk page for discussing improvements to the Ned Kelly article. | |||
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Untitled
started this one but hope to get back to it soon Peterdownunder (talk) 12:39, 6 July 2008 (UTC)
Info on books, films and music based on en-wiki entry Peterdownunder (talk) 14:41, 11 July 2008 (UTC)
PGA comments
- Comments
- On File:Ned kelly day before execution photograph.jpg, the image source is dead.
- Done - used a different version of the image with "live" source --Peterdownunder (talk) 21:53, 18 December 2011 (UTC)
- Found guilty of murder, he was hanged for murder at the bit repetitive to say "guilty of murder, hanged for murder"
- Done - was repetitive, fixed --Peterdownunder (talk) 21:53, 18 December 2011 (UTC)
- Edward "Ned" Kelly (June 1855 –11 November 1880) space after ndash
- Done - --Peterdownunder (talk) 05:36, 19 December 2011 (UTC)
- The actual date is not known because the birth was not registered. registered with whom?
- Delink 1848
- Done- --Peterdownunder (talk) 05:36, 19 December 2011 (UTC)
- He died on... He-->Red
- Done - --Peterdownunder (talk) 05:36, 19 December 2011 (UTC)
- The police thought the whole family were trouble makers. ref?
- Done - ref added. --Peterdownunder (talk) 22:54, 19 December 2011 (UTC)
- Ellen Kelly and her children, moved to a farm on... comma unnecessary
- Ned also worked in the bush with an ex–convict a hyphen should replace the ndash
- It is a hyphen when I look at it.--Peterdownunder (talk) 10:15, 19 December 2011 (UTC)
- Perhaps link "hawker" to wiktionary for a more detailed definition
- Done - Hawker linked--Peterdownunder (talk) 22:54, 19 December 2011 (UTC)
- Ned would have worked during the day building a sea wall at Williamstown beach. 1. What's a sea wall? 2. Why didn't he work building the sea wall? If he was released early, state the time he moved onto the ship.
- Done - created link to sea wall which I will create soon, Clarified what he was doing there.--Peterdownunder (talk) 10:15, 19 December 2011 (UTC)
- Kelly became famous when he beat "Wild" Wright... take a half sentence to explain who "Wild" Wright was.
- Done, added detail about the fight which I think fixes it --Peterdownunder (talk) 10:15, 19 December 2011 (UTC)
- Lonigan was later shot dead by Kelly at Stringybark Creek. Ref?
- Done - --Peterdownunder (talk) 10:15, 19 December 2011 (UTC)
- That's it for now. I'll review from "The Fitzpatrick Incident" to the end when these comments are addressed. Albacore (talk · changes) 15:37, 18 December 2011 (UTC)
- The Fitzpatrick Incident
- All the Kelly family were well known to the police, who had been told not to go to the house alone. reword, reads awkwardly
- Done - I think it reads better now.--Peterdownunder (talk) 03:16, 23 December 2011 (UTC)
- he would 'fix the Greta mob'. link mob
- Done - "mob" linked to wiktionary.--Peterdownunder (talk) 03:16, 23 December 2011 (UTC)
- He and Ellen agreed to forget what had happened. unclear who Ellen is here
- Done - restated relationships --Peterdownunder (talk) 11:58, 22 December 2011 (UTC)
- The Ellen Kelly said that Ned... Then?
- Fitzpatrick was later sacked from the police as a "liar" possibly reword "sacked" for simplicity.
- Done - changed to "lost his job" --Peterdownunder (talk) 11:58, 22 December 2011 (UTC)
- More later. Albacore (talk · changes) 22:03, 20 December 2011 (UTC)
- The Kelly Gang
- They knew the two brothers were hiding in the Wombat Ranges... What's a "Wombat Range"?
- Done - I laughed at that one.--Peterdownunder (talk) 20:12, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
- Three other policemen were with him; Constables Thomas McIntyre, Thomas Lonigan, and Michael Scanlon. Think a colon would be better here.
- Done - colon added--Peterdownunder (talk) 20:12, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
- Kennedy was shot and was badly wounded. Why not Kennedy was shot and badly wounded.
- Done -why not indeed--Peterdownunder (talk) 20:12, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
- Ned shot him in the chest to end his suffering. "end his suffering" looks idiomatic; perhaps a reword
- Done - reworded with a quote from Ned. --Peterdownunder (talk) 08:26, 25 December 2011 (UTC)
- They had stopped at Faithful Creek station (farm)... perhaps add an a before farm
- Done --Peterdownunder (talk) 20:12, 24 December 2011 (UTC)-
- After taking all the money, the gang forced Scott... Who's Scott?
- After having supper, and telling the people not to leave the farm for another three hours, they left. Worth specifying who the second "they" are (hostages or gang)
- They broke into the local police station and locked the two policemen, Richards and Devine, in their own cell. What makes the cell theirs?
- Done - --Peterdownunder (talk) 08:26, 25 December 2011 (UTC)
- horse to the blacksmith to get new horse shoes and... 1. "Horseshoes" is one word, and we have an article, so why not link.
- Done - one word and linked--Peterdownunder (talk) 20:12, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
- That was pretty humorous, sending the shoe bill to the New South Wales police station. Nice.
- Part of the reason we Australian's like the story--Peterdownunder (talk) 20:12, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
- "drinks on the house" [22] extra space
- Done - space removed--Peterdownunder (talk) 20:12, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
- Perhaps add {{wikisource|The Jerilderie Letter}} to "The Jerilderie Letter" section"
- Done - but needed [[wikisource:The Jerilderie Letter|Jerilederie Letter]] to link
- Delink 1930
- Done - how did that one get through?--Peterdownunder (talk) 20:12, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
- elly's words are colorful, rough and full of metaphors. Ref?
- Will review "Last stand" when these are fixed. Albacore (talk · changes) 16:02, 23 December 2011 (UTC)
- Last stand
- The police protecting Aaron Sherritt stayed hiding in his hut and the murder was not reported quickly. "stayed hiding" reads odd
- Done rephrased.--Peterdownunder (talk) 00:47, 27 December 2011 (UTC)
- train than they had planned.[14]:161. double period
- Each man's armour weighed about 96 pounds (44 kg). should be the other way around (kg then lbs)
- Done with citations --Peterdownunder (talk) 00:47, 27 December 2011 (UTC)
- loss of blood because a gunshot cut his femoral artery link femoral artery
- Done -created femoral artery --Peterdownunder (talk) 00:47, 27 December 2011 (UTC)
- DNA clearly matches one of Kelly's living relatives.[38]. double period
- ...the shoot out with police.[39]. double period
- I'd suggest creating quite a few more articles in the "The Ned Kelly story" section to assert notability.
- Not done I will eventually, it is one of a number of things it needs for VGA.--Peterdownunder (talk) 00:47, 27 December 2011 (UTC)
- Besieged: The Ned Kelly Story", is all in italics
- Done -it was a typo--Peterdownunder (talk) 00:47, 27 December 2011 (UTC)
- References
- Three dead links
- Done dead links replaced. --Peterdownunder (talk) 21:50, 26 December 2011 (UTC)
- Done DABs correctly linked
- Ref 2 English is the default language
- Done - --Peterdownunder (talk) 00:47, 27 December 2011 (UTC)
- Ref 7 The Kelly Outbreak 1878—1880 should be The Kelly Outbreak 1878–1880
- Ref 3 ABC News should be spelled out.
- Done - spelled out the first time it used--Peterdownunder (talk) 00:47, 27 December 2011 (UTC)
- I see a lot of works as dfat.gov.au or something similar. Would be better if those were spelled out (i.e Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade instead of dfat.gov.au)
- Done I think I got most of them--Peterdownunder (talk) 00:47, 27 December 2011 (UTC)
- Other websiteds
- Citeweb needed
- Done cite template used.--Peterdownunder (talk) 00:47, 27 December 2011 (UTC)
- Will check reliability of sources when these are done. Albacore (talk · changes) 14:47, 25 December 2011 (UTC)
- A few final quibbles:
- Ref 39 Herald Sun needs italics
- Done - changed template from old cite news to cite web --Peterdownunder (talk) 06:06, 28 December 2011 (UTC)
- Ref 40 needs italics, and Sydney Morning Herald should be The Sydney Morning Herald
- Accessdate on ref 52?
- Done - the 21st month, must have been a typo
- Remove the "[last update]" from the final other website.
- That's it. However, to be a VGA, the article will need more minor tweaks. Albacore (talk · changes) 02:29, 28 December 2011 (UTC)
- Please add any VGA suggestions below.--Peterdownunder (talk) 06:06, 28 December 2011 (UTC)
VGA suggestions
Please feel free to add suggestions below - I have put in what I think needs to be included.--Peterdownunder (talk) 06:06, 28 December 2011 (UTC)
- Create articles for many of the films and books.
- More on the police hunt, and the policemen involved
- Broader issues of how the story reflects tension between squatters and free selectors
- More on the other gang members - Aaron Sherrit, Tom Lloyd, Jim Kelly
- More detail on Ned's actions during the siege
- More on the republic - was Glenrowan meant to be the start
- More on the unknown armed men at the siege, and the signal rockets
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